So now I have to spend half my time in the yard with her, to make sure she doesn't turn this years Easter Bunny into a chew-toy. As much as we love and trust her, jungle law is jungle law and the honor system will not work here. What's the turnaround time on a newborn rabbit any way? I mean completely, from birth, to out of the hole, to living on it's own? Days, weeks, months??!! I need to know now, I've got shit to do. I can't be spending the next few weeks of my life standing guard over a rabbit hole, just because some self absorbed mother rabbit had the irresponsible and ill-conceived idea to give birth in the middle of hells half acre. I feel for the bunny, I do, but isn't that the chance the rabbit was taking? What kind of Darwinian exercise is this anyway? You'd expect this kind of behavior from squirrels, guinea pigs, or gerbils for god's sake. But I thought rabbits were better than that. Have they just given up as a species? Was there a total breakdown in the genetic code somewhere and now they are all coming back as gerbils? Look gerbils are cute, and considering the places gerbils have turned up, I should consider myself lucky they've only ended up in my backyard. Doesn't the smell of blood still hang in the air? Don't the dead souls report back from the afterlife? "Whatever you do avoid the yard on the corner, it's got the biggest fucking cat I've ever seen!"
The rabbit has left the hole! I repeat, the rabbit has left the hole! A great day indeed. I must say I am proud, thanks to our hard work and vigilance, and frankly, no real help from the rabbit community, the last baby has survived. But now it won't leave the yard. Are you kidding me? Look pal we got you this far, you are free to go, leave! Hit the road, hey look, the people two yards down haven't mowed their lawn in weeks, go for it! I was complaining to Denyse about this, and she said, he doesn't want to leave, he was born here, this is his home. And I said, Well, if he doesn't snap out of it, he's going to die here. I've got two words for you buddy, natural selection.