Chin Spittle

A woman in a convertible mini cooper tried to charge me today. I had the right of way but she wasn't going for it and drove right at me, daring me not to stop. Not only didn't I stop, I laughed at her. I thought the kind of people that drove those kind of cars were freewheeling madcaps, crazy for good times but with a responsible streak. I may look mainstream, but I'm a rebel man! I work hard, play hard and I love even harder! The kids are at their fathers and this is my reward! The sun is out and I'm going to let both my hair and the top down. The only thing missing was a Union Jack scarf and the Austin Powers teeth. But I hadn't considered the bitch factor. I've been told I drive like a New York cab driver, so I am certainly not perfect, but nothing makes me feel better than seeing someone else lose their shit in traffic. It relaxes me, it's like looking in the mirror. Oh, that's what I look like. (But hopefully without the chin spittle.) Naturally she got right behind me at the light, which I thought would be a good time to get on the phone, (hello, I'd like the number for the Grand Canyon, and I'd like to have a pizza delivered. It doesn't matter, I'm in traffic right now and I'm really trying to piss off the person behind me. You bet I'll hold!) the light changes and she dashes past me and immediately gets stuck behind another car and starts screaming at them. She's all yours pal! His day just got worse and mine just got better.